There is a big chance I will die of a broken heart disease
a disease where a licensed medical professional is not able to cure.
It is not pneumonia or hypertension… is just is a disease of a heart
that has been broken into fragments. It is a poet’s nightmare because
it is not easy to write or to capture in words. It is not contagious
because the disease is personalized to every victim. I hope I find cure
before I succumb to it.
A soulful wish to translate an empty canvas
into a full thriving life
walking carefully through the roads of today
until the dusk has said its last litany of the day.
I’ve let my lips get parched from thirst for life
for someone to open his arms and let me live in them.
Maybe it is not my sympathetic heart that failed us
I’ve slowly come to know the old and withered reason
why our relationship failed. It is because your other foot
was always out the door. You’ve never let yourself fully in.
Throughout our time the doorway to us has been always open to you.
To fully participate…maybe I was never good enough for you.
I trace fading footprints along the riverside
chasing the shadowy past with bated breath
hoping to get a slice of it that will give me
some needed closure.
I saw the branches of the trees, swaying with
the touch of a breeze. As if to send me a sign
to let it go.
the past and present unite
You come to me in bits and pieces
a glimpse as fast as lightning
such fleeting moments in my dreams.
You speak to me in rainbows and moonbeams
I hear you on cloudy days in distorted language
of rain and thunderstorms.
You capture my attention like snowflakes hitting the window pane
You hold my heart so delicately in your hands and I long to see the depth of your soul.
I build a wall around my heart
not wanting for it to get hurt
I surrounded myself with poetry
and wisdom only to find myself
wanting more…something more
to color my days and to stir my nights
Something more to color my days and stir my nights…
Regretting the past
crying our eyes out
will never bring back the joy
of our youthful times.
Generously giving ourselves
only to end up empty.
I still wonder what’s inside the seemingly hollowed shell. Appears to be, shallow and unyielding, but I really think there is more to it than what’s in the surface. It may be just waiting to be discovered, and pry out of it’s lovely mysterious covering.
I wonder what lies beneath the seemingly hard shell…
It saddens me to look at you now
your dark side left you living in a cave
an empty shell of the former you I used to know.
Your eyes has this permanent glaze that refuses
to focus on people that cares about you deeply.
It hurts me that you haven’t spoken in years.
You sit there in silence, most of the time you
blend in with the wall.You are right there but
you are missing.
It breaks my heart that I wasn’t there to help you.
figure things out about your illness until it was too late.
I am so sorry, I do not know how else to get through you.
You seem very far away and was gone a long time ago even before
we recognized the symptoms.
If only it is easy to erase you from my mind just like deleting a word I typed on my laptop. If only I could turn back time and hold my words in my tongue before saying them.
If only I could see you again, talk to you, hold you in my arms one more time. If only…