Unsettling when I find myself waiting
muttered unsavory words under my breath, my lust for him consumes me
clouding my senses…All I can think of was the last night he was with me.
Drifts of honey flowing from between my legs, sweaty bodies, dimly lit room
and his scent…his masculine scent pushing my thoughts spiraling wildly like a brush fire
uncontrollably spreading within my senses.
The brooding clouds brings forth resentment
towards things unreachable.
The rosy tasted of life
and the blossoming green in some people’s pocket.
I raise my glass every time I am able to pay bills.
I raise my glass when I see another morning.
Some said not to worry
let the Lord carry my burden
but here I am my back hurts from being over-loaded.
And the world kept tumbling down
was tossed here there everywhere
all hell broken out and felt like it is the end.
How do you think one would keep themselves together.
Trying to make sense of what is going on in this confusing,
discouraging and scary world.
I say keep going anyway… don’t let things around you
discouraged you from moving on. Maybe someday things will be different.
Tough day left me wiped out
leaving my nerves fried and frayed.
Wishing a high tide to come and wash them away
just like Autumn wind shedding the leaves
to let them grow again.
Shall I kneel to hope and pray
for better day to come
my mind spinning out of control.
Wish you were here to calm me down.
There is a big chance I will die of a broken heart disease
a disease where a licensed medical professional is not able to cure.
It is not pneumonia or hypertension… is just is a disease of a heart
that has been broken into fragments. It is a poet’s nightmare because
it is not easy to write or to capture in words. It is not contagious
because the disease is personalized to every victim. I hope I find cure
before I succumb to it.
I trace fading footprints along the riverside
chasing the shadowy past with bated breath
hoping to get a slice of it that will give me
some needed closure.
I saw the branches of the trees, swaying with
the touch of a breeze. As if to send me a sign
to let it go.
I build a wall around my heart
not wanting for it to get hurt
I surrounded myself with poetry
and wisdom only to find myself
wanting more…something more
to color my days and to stir my nights
Regretting the past
crying our eyes out
will never bring back the joy
of our youthful times.
Generously giving ourselves
only to end up empty.
It saddens me to look at you now
your dark side left you living in a cave
an empty shell of the former you I used to know.
Your eyes has this permanent glaze that refuses
to focus on people that cares about you deeply.
It hurts me that you haven’t spoken in years.
You sit there in silence, most of the time you
blend in with the wall.You are right there but
you are missing.
It breaks my heart that I wasn’t there to help you.
figure things out about your illness until it was too late.
I am so sorry, I do not know how else to get through you.
You seem very far away and was gone a long time ago even before
we recognized the symptoms.
If only it is easy to erase you from my mind just like deleting a word I typed on my laptop. If only I could turn back time and hold my words in my tongue before saying them.
If only I could see you again, talk to you, hold you in my arms one more time. If only…