Thoughts

Unsettling when I find myself waiting

muttered unsavory words under my breath, my lust for him consumes me

clouding my senses…All I can think of was the last night he was with me.

Drifts of honey flowing from between my legs, sweaty bodies, dimly lit room

and his scent…his masculine scent pushing my thoughts spiraling wildly like a brush fire

uncontrollably spreading within my senses.

Resentment

The brooding clouds brings forth resentment

towards things unreachable.

The rosy tasted of life

and the blossoming green in some people’s pocket.

I raise my glass every time I am able to pay bills.

I raise my glass when I see another morning.

Some said not to worry

let the Lord carry my burden

but here I am my back hurts from being over-loaded.

Keep moving

And the world kept tumbling down

was tossed here there everywhere

all hell broken out and felt like it is the end.

How do you think one would keep themselves together.

Trying to make sense of what is going on in this confusing,

discouraging and scary world.

I say keep going anyway… don’t let things around you

discouraged you from moving on. Maybe someday things will be different.

Wish you were here

Tough day left me wiped out

leaving my nerves fried and frayed.

Wishing a high tide to come and wash them away

just like Autumn wind shedding the leaves

to let them grow again.

Shall I kneel to hope and pray

for better day to come

my mind spinning out of control.

Wish you were here to calm me down.

Wish you were here…

Broken heart disease

There is a big chance I will die of a broken heart disease

a disease where a licensed medical professional is not able to cure.

It is not pneumonia or hypertension… is just is a disease of a heart

that has been broken into fragments. It is a poet’s nightmare because

it is not easy to write or to capture in words. It is not contagious

because the disease is personalized to every victim. I hope I find cure

before I succumb to it.

The chase

I trace fading footprints along the riverside

chasing the shadowy past with bated breath

hoping to get a slice of it that will give me

some needed closure.

I saw the branches of the trees, swaying with

the touch of a breeze. As if to send me a sign

to let it go.

Something more…

I build a wall around my heart

not wanting for it to get hurt

I surrounded myself with poetry

and wisdom only to find myself

wanting more…something more

to color my days and to stir my nights

Empty shell

It saddens me to look at you now

your dark side left you living in a cave

an empty shell of the former you I used to know.

Your eyes has this permanent glaze that refuses

to focus on people that cares about you deeply.

It hurts me that you haven’t spoken in years.

You sit there in silence, most of the time you

blend in with the wall.You are right there but

you are missing.

It breaks my heart that I wasn’t there to help you.

figure things out about your illness until it was too late.

I am so sorry, I do not know how else to get through you.

You seem very far away and was gone a long time ago even before

we recognized the symptoms.

If only it is easy to erase you from my mind just like deleting a word I typed on my laptop. If only I could turn back time and hold my words in my tongue before saying them.

If only I could see you again, talk to you, hold you in my arms one more time. If only…